SECOND CHANCES
Sometimes, like I mean on very rare occasions. Like once every 2 years, if not longer, I truly believe that it is okay to give someone a second chance. They messed up. They broke your heart. They treated you like shit. They lied. They cheated. They “broke your spirit”. Fine, sucks big time. No one is disputing that. No one faults you for never, ever, ever speaking to them again in your natural born life. But what if they’re truly sorry. I don’t know how you really know, honestly, I always think once a liar always a liar, once a bullshitter, always a bullshitter. But I know that’s not right somewhere deep down. If no one could ever change then the world would really be an awful place…and a whole lot of people would never speak to each other again. So say their apology is genuine and they are really showing you the difference through their actions and not just their words. There is definitely that chance that someone can be more than sorry that they got caught, called out or told off. They aren’t just sorry because it ended badly they’re sorry they did it at all, there are those few people, and when you come upon those people, there is no reason not to give them a second chance if you really want to. They KNOW they will have to work hard. No one in their right mind is taking you back if nothing has changed. Someone should be working double time to show you that they are worth the risk you are taking with your heart and emotional sanity. If they aren’t working double or even triple time…well, I would question if they are really willing to work for your forgiveness or your future relationship. Sometimes wires really do get crossed or words confused or stories twisted and you’re so mad you don’t check to see if there is something you may have missed, something that may just be a little bit off that could have changed the whole situation. Be open to being wrong. If you’re not you will live your life closed off to the chance of personal growth and change. And if you do find that it was you, fess up, don’t let your pride get in the way, don’t figure you’re just better off without them, humble yourself and say something. Sometimes you just plain old miss them. Sometimes cutting ties is not as easy as you thought it would be, or your friends make it sound, or their actions made it seem like it would be. Sometimes cutting ties really does feel like something or someone in this case has been cut right out of you. Like you’re missing a piece of who you are or are supposed to be, and it’s just not worth teaching someone a lesson and losing part of yourself while doing so. This is where my best advice is just to talk. Until you’re blue in the face, until you hate the subject and couldn’t think of another thing to say about it, and then…let it go and if you both feel like you can’t make it without each other…why try? Unless you have a direct connection to the MIB (Men in Black) and their awesome memory eraser thing (which I have in fact told one man that’s what it would take for me to date him again) then you’re never really going to forget whatever it was that broke you two up in the first place . There will always be something that reminds you of the girl he left your for, or the guy she cheated on you with you’re going to think about it. You are going to immediately go back to those feelings where you hurt, and it’s honestly, most likely, still going to hurt. But in these cases it’s not about forgetting, because if you forget too much you could find yourself right back in the same position they put you in last time. I’d like to say here “Keep your guard up”, but to me guard feels like a wall or shield and with either of those it makes it hard for other emotions to get through and real growth to occur, figuratively, use something soft like a pillow guard, you’re not trying to strong arm the person but you also can’t be oblivious to past events, and even if you try your mind won’t let you. But whatever you do please try to forgive, don’t let someone who was careless with your heart or feelings control your future relationships or mental well being, it will never be worth it. In the end, it’s always your choice. You always have a say in your life, relationships and future. So I say, give it a go if you’ve got it in you. If you’ve forgiven, if they’ve grown, and if you’re willing to put yourself “out there” one more time, by all means, do so. The worst that can happen is that they’ll fuck up again and you’ll learn a lesson about second chances or going back to an old love that moved on.
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